


Why Was I Summoned

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>uMADbro: dolley and some of her friends are doing a girls’ night out and i have been told to “invite some of the guys from work” to do the male equivalent of that</p><p>A.Spam: why are you playing into gender roles like that, James</p><p>uMADbro: dolley’s wish is my command</p><p>Smackaroni: is this u asking us to come hang out with you this weekend so ur wife doesn’t think you’re lame</p><p>uMADbro: yes</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Was I Summoned

**Author's Note:**

> Alexander Hamilton = HammyMyMammy = a.spam  
> Aaron Burr = AyBaeRon  
> Thomas Jefferson = Smackaroni  
> James Madison = uMADbro

uMADbro: hey thomas did you know that alex and john are dating

Smackaroni: they are not

uMADbro: yes, they are

Smackaroni: i would have known about it

AyBaeRon: why would you know about it

Smackaroni: he would have told me

AyBaeRon: no, he wouldn’ have

Smackaroni: yes, he would

uMADbro: why

Smackaroni: because it’s something i should know

uMADbro: but why

Smackaroni: because it’s incredibly important information

uMADbro: why is it so important to you?

Smackaroni: why did you even bring it up in the first place

uMADbro: because i thought you’d want to know and dolley told me to

AyBaeRon: why don’t you ask him yourself

Smackaroni: why would I do that

AyBaeRon: i will add him to this chat right now

Smackaroni: don’t do that

uMADbro: please do that

Smackaroni: do not

uMADbro: do

Smackaroni: @uMADbro why u gotta be like this

uMADbro: i only want what’s best

AyBaeRon has added HammyMyMammy to the chat

HammyMyMammy: why am i here

Smackaroni: yeah why’d you do that aaron - all he does is nag and spam all the chat’s he’s in because he DOUBLE TEXTS TIMES TEN

HammyMyMammy: do

HammyMyMammy: you

HammyMyMammy: mean

HammyMyMammy: like

HammyMyMammy: this

HammyMyMammy: is

HammyMyMammy: this

HammyMyMammy: annoying 

HammyMyMammy: you

HammyMyMammy: thomas

Smackaroni: y e s

HammyMyMammy: good

HammyMyMammy has changed username to A.Spam

AyBaeRon: that is much better suited for you alexander

A.Spam: thank you 

A.Spam: aaron burr

A.Spam: sir

AyBaeRon: why do you do that

A.Spam: because it

A.Spam: rhymes

uMADbro: please stop doing that and message us like a normal human being

A.Spam: but i am not a normal human being

Smackaroni: we know

A.Spam: okay but for realsies why was i summoned here

uMADbro: Thomas refuses to acknowledge the fact that you and John are dating because you didn’t personally tell him

A.Spam: why would i keep thomas updated on my person life

uMADbro: well

uMADbro: maybe because

Smackaroni: ur my arch-enemy we’re supposed to have that level of communication between one another

AyBaeRon: i think that is the opposite of arch-enemies

A.Spam: @smackaroni no, i see ur point

Smackaroni: thank you

Smackaroni: so, are you dating John

A.Spam: yes

Smackaroni: but why

A.Spam: bc soulmates that’s why

Smackaraoni: but that’s lame

A.Spam: ur lame

uMADbro: surely you have better insults than this

A.Spam: well,,, I do,,,, but i’m not sure if thomas is worthy right now

Smackaroni: i am always worthy of insults let’s be real here

AyBaeRon: lesbi-honest

uMADbro: no one here is female, aaron

AyBaeRon: theo would be proud of that joke

A.Spam: what does theo have to do with anything

AyBaeRon: theo has to do with everything

AyBaeRon: besides she is my soulmate so she is relevant since we were discussing your newfound relationship with John

Smackaroni: has that been happening for a while

A.Spam: no, it’s a fairly recent development

Smackaroni: you’ve known each other for years how is that a new discovery

A.Spam: soulmarks are private ???

uMADbro: true but people show friends their soulmarks

A.Spam: no, they don’t

Smackaroni: jemmy and i have seen each other’s soulmarks ?

A.Spam: that’s weird ???

AyBaeRon: no it’s not

AyBaeRon: that’s how theo and i even figured it out - you all know we kept it platonic at first, but then she wore a short-sleeved shirt the one day so i showed her my soulmark to kind of return the favor

Smackaroni: okay but that was hardcore flirting

AyBaeRon: looking back on it ur right

uMADbro: was she not soulmates with her previous husband

AyBaeRon: she was

A.Spam: how does that? Work ???

AyBaeRon: theo decided that jacques was meant for her in her first part of her life, but as they grew they changed, so it was time for her to move on

A.Spam: to you

AyBaeRon: yes

Smackaroni: then why didn’t you guys just enter a polymarriage bc soulmarks are a thing that lets that happen

AyBaeRon: because theo was still cheating on jacque since it wasn’t a triad and she didn’t keep him updates

A.Spam: why didn’t you make it a triad

AyBaeRon: i didn’t want to

uMADbro: moving on

uMADbro: dolley and some of her friends are doing a girls’ night out and i have been told to “invite some of the guys from work” to do the male equivalent of that

A.Spam: why are you playing into gender roles like that, James

uMADbro: dolley’s wish is my command

Smackaroni: is this u asking us to come hang out with you this weekend so ur wife doesn’t think you’re lame

uMADbro: yes

AyBaeRon: i think theo is going to that so i might as well

uMADbro: yeah, it’s dolley, theo, eliza, and adrienne

A.Spam: wait

A.Spam: what’s adrienne’s last name?

uMADbro: something french

A.Spam: Laf just met a girl named Adrienne and has been freaking out about her ever since because they’re soulmates and how great would it be if it was Laf’s adrienne

Smackaroni: anything is possible ???

AyBaeRon: maybe eliza could start dating hercules, since you and john have found each other

A.Spam: have you ever had a conversation with hercules? He is too gay for that

uMADbro: hamilton has a point

A.Spam: i always have a point

uMADbro: what about thomas

Smackaroni: yeah aaron what about me am i too good for this mysterious eliza

AyBaeRon: absolutely not

uMADbro: ur nowhere near eliza’s level

AyBaeRon: there is no one on this planet that is good enough for eliza

uMADbro: aesthetically tho hamilton is more her type

A.Spam: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

AyBaeRon: who you’ll always be loyal to I’m sure

A.Spam: what’s that supposed to mean, Burr

Smackaroni: we all know about your sexcapades in college, hamilton

A.Spam: ur just salty bc i turned you down

Smackaroni: not true

uMADbro: very true

Smackaroni: ur supposed to be on my side

AyBaeRon: why do we work together

A.Spam: bc u all admire my father

uMADbro: why do you work for your father i thought you wanted to strike out on your own

A.Spam: same but also,, he asked me to,,,,

Smackaroni: that makes a lot more sense tbh

uMADbro: BUT BACK TO BEFORe

uMADbro: the girls will probably be staying to chat a little bit either before they leave or after they come back so eliza will awkwardly be grouped in with alexander and thomas and it’s guaranteed to be entertaining

A.Spam: i’m sure adrienne will protect me from thomas

AyBaeRoen: no she’ll have to protect you from eliza

A.Spam: what do you mean

uMADbro: she’s going to steal your heart and you’re going to have to explain to your lovely john why you’re leaving him

A.Spam: i would never leave john

A.Spam: just for that I’m bringing him with me

Smackaroni: ur going to be too gay for me to handle

A.Spam: ur too gay for yourself to handle

Smackaroni: …

A.Spam: oops sorry i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings

AyBaeRon: yes u did

A.Spam: true

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a lot easier to write than I expected! :-)
> 
> Please feel free to come pester me at my tumblr: kookookarli.tumblr.com or twitter: @theunnamed god
> 
> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


End file.
